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Recap! Yao Hurts Self While Spurs Slum Against Mediocre Team! Elsewhere, Something Else Predictable Also Happens!

I find it kind of ironic that on the day I quit my job, Vince Carter almost did his. I didn't watch this game, because I was self medicating at The Mean Eyed Cat after taking a nasty crash at the skatepark, but I didn't feel like I needed to, because what happened last night was pretty much the most predictable thing ever. I was in the right frame of mind though, because whilst I was recuperating with myriad alcoholic beverages, I would check up on the score with my fancy mobile phone. Seeing the Spurs play, yet again, to the level of a team they could've, and should've, steamrolled by at least 258 points was like nothing else I've ever seen if I was a fan of any other NBA team ever.

Apparently, my phone AND NBA Fastbreak alleged that the Nets managed to match the Spurs shot for shot throughout the game, but we all know that when your record is 19-24, you aren't matching anybody's shots anytime or anywhere. I offered up an alternative hypothesis to my indifferent cohorts in alcoholism, that the Spurs simply allowed their opponents to look better than they really were, by playing terribly on purpose. This is a hypothesis that will, I predict, soon make its way into the realm of scientific THEORY, because pretty much every time the Spurs play somebody like this, the games are way more exciting than we all know they should be. Exciting like a Jerry Bruckheimer movie.

Tim Duncan scored some points and had some rebounds, as did Manu Ginobili and Tony "Tupac" Parker. Michael Finley continued to make the assertion that he isn't a living dead girl by scoring a key basket down the stretch to save the Spurs from themselves. 

Apparently, Austin Croshere is on our team,a fact I would've been woefully unaware of had he not played 48 minutes and scored 82 points. Just kidding, we all know that Austin Croshere doesn't play. He DOES however, bring our total of near useless white guys to 2 1/2 (I spot Fabio a half point because he's Argentenian and can't help it if he doesn't look more Portuguese, or some other kind of more worldly hispanic...)!!

Yao hurt his knee. That news had the hard hitting power of a Barry Zito fastball. 

Did you guys know that AIDS is a problem in Africa? TV reassures me that this is probably the case. I make the assertion that if we sent them Playstations instead of having charity drives using stylishly aloof GAP clothing, we could circumvent these alleged "AIDS". Think about it, who's got time to think about sex when there are nuclear crises to be averted in Metal Gear? Nobody, that's who!

Anyhoo, There really wasn't a whole lot to say about this game. I hope that The Scrappy-Doo Double Feature can leap back into form with the next game...

 

 

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