"Redeem" Team 101, Enablers of Darfur Genocide 70

by tomasito on Aug 10, 2008 2:14 PM CDT

Lebron James

It's interesting to see who is "The Man" on a team where everyone is "The Man" on their respective NBA teams. There's a debate in the NBA as to whether Kobe or Lebron is better, with most leaning to Kobe. On this team, there is NO QUESTION Lebron is the star or stars.

Thus far, he's been the US team's best shotblocker, rebounder, ballhandler, finisher, scorer... he's been just awesome. He had a play today where he tracked down a Chinese fast break, went up for the block, and CAUGHT THE BALL with two hands. If he had wanted, he could have blocked the shot with his forehead.

The commentators mentioned that he was an inch shorter and ten pounds lighter than statutory rapist/deadbeat dad bruising PF KARL MALONE. It's not an exaggeration to say he might be the most amazing athlete in the world. I chuckle a little when people talk about how good ballplayers were in the 60s; I mean, Lebron is BIGGER than Bill Russell was.

If Team USA matches up with Argentina, our man Fab better watch out. He or Nocioni are going to have to try to match up with Lebron, and that's not going to be pretty.

What's up with Kobe?

Kobe has been absolutely awful. Who is this impostor? Do we need to hypnotize him to make him think he's facing Ime Udoka? He seems determined to miss preposterously difficult shots every time he has the ball.

What's up with 'Melo?

Who is this guy? He's hustling, hitting the boards, playing unselfishly... could it be that this is who he really is, and Denver is bringing out the worst in him? That would have been a positive indicator for signing JR Smith. Oh well, I'm sure Roger Mason will knock our socks off with his awesomeness.

Yi Jianlian = Chinese for "Francisco Elson"

This guy is 7' tall, athletic, but has NO CLUE how to play. He makes just enough plays to make you think maybe, just maybe, the light bulb will come on, but guess what, it's not going to. I'm going to declare him a bust right now. I think watching him for 20 minutes today is more than enough of a sample size. That's my initial impression, and in honor of our upcoming presidential election, now that I've stated an opinion, I'm going to defend it to the death.

3-Point Shooting

The US isn't stacked with great shooters, but they've got too many good shooters to be shooting this poorly. Perhaps the shorter international line actually hurts them; I mean, why would you practice shooting from a few feet inside your regular three point line?

The jumpers are generally on line, but long. I wonder if it's a psychological issue, because they know they are shooting a three, but they feel like they should be farther out and give it a little extra "oomph."

International Rules

Speaking of international rules, WE INVENTED basketball (be quiet, Canada). Why should the Olympics be played under some weird-ass foreigner trapezoid lane rules?

It would be like if the US held the World Cup and made up its own rules for soccer. Then every four years the Brazilians would struggle, and the commentators would tsk tsk and say "well, in Brazil, the goalie's allowed to use his hands to block the ball, but under American soccer rules, he can only use his face."

It really bothers me--our sport, play it by OUR RULES. Sheesh.

Other Random Thoughts:

Beach Volleyball

Beach volleyball is a funny Olympic sport. Why not frisbee golf? Air hockey? That said, it's not hard on the eyes, at least when those of the female persuasion are playing. Plus, they seem to hug A LOT.

The male beach volleyballers, by contrast, all seem to be freakish Andrei Kirilenko look-a-likes. There was a Chinese guy playing yesterday who was 6'7", 175 lbs. 175 lbs!!! Get that guy a cheeseburger.

I Can Has Cheezburger?

Speaking of cheeseburgers, I can dunk a basketball, and I find the site icanhascheezburger.com to be hilarious. Does that make me unique? Are there any other ballers (or "ballaz") out there with a weakness for lolcats?

Men's Soccer

If you pass to Freddy Adu, he is going to try to shoot. Period. He reminds me a little of Brazilian striker Ronaldo. The US national team has needed a guy like that, with the attitude to put the ball in the net. It would be helpful if he would actually do that, but still...

Outlook for Team USA Going Forward

China's guards are so incompetent it's difficult to tell. The US won by 31, but it could have been 50. China was on fire from 3 to start (something like 5 of 7), while the US started 1 of 9. As strange as it may sound, this game was not as close as the score would indicate.

The USA's best five is Lebron, DWade, Carmelo, Chris Bosh... and I don't know else. I would play those four, and someone else who wouldn't get in the way (maybe Prince or Redd, or Boozer if they needed another big). That group got their hands on a ton of balls on defense (they better watch out for coming too soon on Manu's pump fake penetrations), and shared the ball and played aggressively and up-tempo on offense.

Kobe is too much of a ball hog when he's in; he actually was hurting the team. Chris Paul and Deron Williams weren't all that useful (although DWill did quixotically attempt to reenact Manu's dunk on Yao, but was rejected by the front of the rim). Dwight Howard misses so many FTs; better teams like Spain or Greece or Argentina will just foul him down low rather than letting him cram on their heads.

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also, in a dramatic turn of badassity...

The olympics this year will feature BMX Racing… with bikes! In a turn of events that must be a nod to the winter olympics getting decidedly cooler (pun, shut up…) the Summer Olympics has followed suit. The racing will be very similar to what you would see in Vans Triple Crown (where BMX is a man sport, complete with 50 mph speeds and 40 foot step down jumps….) As someone who destroyed my body with this sport, I’m fully behind the US convincing the IOC to let them have another gold medal…

"I like to use my pump fake to make them come hard, that's when I use my penetration." -Manu Ginobili

by Justin Biehle on Aug 10, 2008 7:04 PM CDT reply actions

i like lolcats too. lebron is definately beast-like right now, our 3 point shooting is god awful as well as kobe offensively, but i still like him in for defense.

i haven’t watched the spain-greece game but read an article and the author was saying there should be no chance we’ll lose to either of them knock on wood.

What the Bowen giveth Horry taketh away. --LatinD (2008 Playoffs Round 2, Game 1)

the Spurs do not defeat you so much as they grind you into tiny shards of psychological wreckage.
-the Denver Post

by Hamer_SpursFan on Aug 11, 2008 12:57 AM CDT reply actions

rising to the ocation

team usa will try hard when the time is right, all china is to them is a little practice game

"I love Sheed. I wish he’d write a children’s book. Maybe he’d call it - How to $&%# Cuss Like a Big Boy."
--- tominhawaii on May 29, 2008 6:29 PM PDT

Email Dave,
--- Mortimer --- for Blazers Edge Ambassador to the SBNations

by ptwnblzr on Aug 11, 2008 1:35 AM CDT reply actions

i also lean toward kobe in that debate, but there is absolutely no question that lebron has been the star so far – including way back to the tournament of the americas last summer. lebron is the better athlete for sure.

seems like kobe has not quite yet grasped the whole let the game come to you thing on team USA. but i ask this: why is it seemingly so easy for a group of 5 chinese (or argentines or brazilians or whomever) to put their focus on kobe and keep him in check, when its so hard for a team in the NBA to do the same?

kobe just doesn’t look to be the same player. he was knocking shots off the side of the backboard forchristsakes. what am i missing on him?

i have no idea what lolcats is, and i used to be able to dunk a basketball, as a very much younger man perhaps i should check out the site to see if i am somehow unique?

i think i might add jason kidd as the 5th man to you most useful 5. he doesn’t care to shoot and can make the right pass. this makes him more useful that paul and williams have shown. that said, i want mike redd in there more though he didnt shoot that well against china.

the only two things i really want out of the olympics are in order #1 an injury free tournemant from manu ginobili and #2 a US gold. i would absolutely sacrifice the latter for the former, but hopefully, we’ll see both.

by bones on Aug 11, 2008 1:29 PM CDT reply actions

Do you mean the former for the latter?

"I love Sheed. I wish he’d write a children’s book. Maybe he’d call it - How to $&%# Cuss Like a Big Boy."
--- tominhawaii on May 29, 2008 6:29 PM PDT

Email Dave,
--- Mortimer --- for Blazers Edge Ambassador to the SBNations

by ptwnblzr on Aug 11, 2008 10:13 PM CDT up reply actions

I gather he meant what he wrote, and I feel the same way. I’d rather have Manu stay healthy than the U.S. win the gold. Another championship by the Spurs would be more enjoyable than a U.S. gold medal for me.

"The evolution has been good, and I am much more tranquil now in the face of what comes next,"--Manu Ginobili

by VWolf on Aug 12, 2008 1:01 AM CDT up reply actions

My bad,

I miss read, he in fact said what I thought he would have ment to, I was just a little dyslectic at the time.

"I love Sheed. I wish he’d write a children’s book. Maybe he’d call it - How to $&%# Cuss Like a Big Boy."
--- tominhawaii on May 29, 2008 6:29 PM PDT

Email Dave,
--- Mortimer --- for Blazers Edge Ambassador to the SBNations

by ptwnblzr on Aug 12, 2008 3:06 AM CDT up reply actions

Well, football was invented by the British. Many years later, when it already was the most popular game in the world, the FIFA was created, and it was decided to unify the rules, which makes sense if you want to play World Cups and such. So now no country can change the rules if he wants to be able to play international competitions without a serious handicap.

Then the US decided that it wasn’t that bad a sport after all (“B-but… you don’t use your hands! That’s, like, wrong!”), called it “soccer” and had people facing the goalie in a sort of weird penalty-kick one-on-one. Now that’s exciting.

So now we have basketball, and the NBA. Can you imagine you guys (and by “you guys” I mean both USAians and the Stern’s boys) accepting to subject all possible rule changes to an international committee, like in football? Me neither. NBA rules change often to accommodate both the need to fast-paced entertainment, bling or just freaks of nature like Shaq. That’s not a bad thing, but no one chose Stern as the World Keeper of Basketball, so it doesn’t work on a larger scale.

And at least we didn’t call basketball “soccertwo” and had people playing H-O-R-S-E when a game is tied after 4 quarters.

And yes, it’s a travesty that beach voley is an Olympic sport and rugby isn’t. I mean, WTF? Freaking rugby doesn’t have enough countries to be Olympic, but beach voley does? Meh.

by LatinD on Aug 15, 2008 8:01 AM CDT reply actions