Officially Unofficial Comic Book Counterparts List (Last one, I swear!)

Yes, I did a list like this back in another post, wanna say "56 synonyms for boring," but I'm not sure. How*ever!* this list is going to be different. Kind of. I swear. Shut up. I hate you! Buuut not really. It's also 1 AM and I should be packing, but F that noise. Off we go.

<Initiate Turbo-Nerd Mode...Activated!>

Tim Duncan- My first choice here is Black Bolt (Marvel). Black Bolt is king of the Inhumans, a race of beings who give themselves mutant abilities with a special mist. Black Bolt never speaks, and with good reason. His voice is quite powerful. The word "No." once destroyed half a city. For this reason, Timmy=Black Bolt.

Manu Ginobili- I could have gone a few directions with this one. I said "Heeeell no" to Supes straight off the bat, because as we all know, Supes is a godmoding, whiny, pansy taco. Eventually, I settled on a tie between Marvel's Incredible Hulk and the Juggernaut (BITCH!), both for, fairly similar reasons, though if I had to give one an edge, it'd be Hulkie, and I think we all know why.

Tony Parker- Jokingly, I would say Northstar, the French-Canadian and eternally homosexual speedster of Canada's Alpha Flight team. No, seriously, Northstar is and always has been gay. Anyway, I eventually decided to go with Marvel's Quicksilver, the speedster son of Magneto. Why Quicksilver? Fill in the blanks, guys. ______ and Black.


Bruce Bowen- Bruce was another one I didn't initially know who to really go with. Certainly, Iron Man might fit due to the impressive streak of games played, but Bruce is neither a drunk, nor an asshole, as Tony Stark is. I initially leaned toward Hank Pym, the Yellow-Jacket. Hank's ability to size change represents Bruce's versatility, and the irritation a bug would cause, and that's what I'm going with now, with a *little* dash of the Thunderbolts's Moonstone for his ability to get inside opposing players's heads.

Robert Horry- Ahh, Horry was a fun one. Right off the bat, I had four of my all-time favorite characters to choose from. I had Mister Sinister, I had Apocalypse, I had Ra's al Ghul, and I had Deathstroke the Terminator (AKA Slade from Teen Titans.) It was, and still is a mix. With Sinister, you have the fact that in Ultimate, he shoved Xavier down a flight of stairs, and we all saw what happened last year. The First One and the Demon's Head are roughly interchangeable, due to their mutual possession of craftiness and longevity. Finally, we have Deathstroke. How many times has Horry delivered just that in the playoffs?

Brent Barry- For once, this one was easy. Bones is, without a doubt, our Deadpool, our Merc With a Mouth. Constant wisecracks and an excellent sense of humor, coupled with long-range attacking made this a slam dunk. (Get it? Slam dunk? Brent Barry? Iiii'm funny, you all shut up. >_>)

Ime Udoka- Another easy one. Black Panther. Really, do I have to explain?

Jacque Vaughn- This one was kind of tricky. In the end, I settled on Robin. Now, before you all go "WTF" at me (Because I know you *haven't* up till now), I'm talking about a specific Robin. One that was universally disliked, and eventually killed off by the fanbase. That's right, kiddies, I'm talking about Jason Todd, the Red Hood.

Matt Bonner- Now, I originally said the Silver Surfer, rather jokingly, as they're both heralds, of a sort. Instead, I'm gonna say F that, and go with Green Arrow. No particular reason other than the 3 ball, aaaaand I'm reading Green Arrow right now.

Michael Finley- Now he, is our Surfer. Twice, he has served the enemy, once in Dallas, and once in Phoenix, before realizing the error of his ways and joining the forces of good. Also, he's old. Silver. Old. Laugh with me, damn you!

Damon Stoudamire- I'm going to take the easy way out. Heeere I come to save the daaaaaay!

Kurt Thomas- Something of a mix between Colossus and Daredevil here. With Colossus, we have the hard defense, and with Daredevil, we have the Man Without Fear...and...I got nothin' else.

Gregg Popovich- This one was tricky as *shit.* So many ways I could have gone. Should I stick with my original choice of Onslaught, combining the psychic abilities of Chuck and the cunning and guile of Magneto? Should I perhaps go with Ra's al Ghul, the aged, crafty master tactician always thinking five steps ahead? Should I once again choose traits from En Sabah Nur, but instead of longevity and craftiness, his ability to constantly adapt to best fit his situation? Should I go with a dark horse candidate in Edwin Jarvis? Seriously, think about that last one. Stare at the name. Edwin Jarvis. Tony Stark's butler. If you haven't head-scratched, WTF'd, or spit-taked up until now, now would be a good time to do that, and simultaneously check the availability of psychiatric institutions in the NW Chicago suburbs. Or *would* it? See, the reason I thought Jarvis was the fact that he was once a member of the RAF, Britain's Royal *Air Force.* See where I'm going with this? In the end, I once again had to settle for a mix. But not the kind I've used already. Less of a mix, and more an amalgam, this one. I chose the Marvel/DC crossover of Ra'sapocalypse, the combination of The Demon's Head and The First one.

So, that completes the list. Enjoy, and, yes, I *do* have too much time on my hands, and it's tickin' away, tiiickin' awayy from me.

This is fan-created content on The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff at Pounding the Rock.

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