Raptors, Cats and Dogs: A Recap For Every Species

This has been a difficult season for Spurs fans: we've had ups, downs, peaks, valleys, and more ups, and yet more downs. I think it took us about 10 games to finally win one with authority (if you're looking for exactitude, you're reading the wrong recap), and most came down to the final 5 minutes. So in a season like this, last night's game against the Raptors should barely register.

They were winning at some point, then we took over, and afterwards we simply maintained the status quo. That's it. They didn't get too close for long, we didn't run them out of the building - nothing really exciting seemed to happen. Considering I missed most of that first quarter where the Dinos dominated, I seemingly only got to see the Spurs raining 3s and Tony making long jumpers. So I've decided to leave most of the minute-by-minute stuff to Hamer, who should chip in later with another recap, and concentrate on aimless rambling and our opponents. I'll even leave all the gametime photos to him - so this is probably not the best post for you if you haven't watched the game.

Disclaimers done with, let's get right to it:

(If you only want to read about the Spurs, scroll down till you see Delfino's scrawny self.) I've mentioned a few times that the Raptors are my second favorite NBA team. There're a number of reasons: the great point guard play of Calderón, the Duncan-ness I see Bosh exhibit from time to time, Kapono's slick triples, Moon's godhood, my liking for things Canadian, the underdog vibes they emit, especially compared to my beloved Spurs. They are (were) fun to watch, and it's also fun to have someone to root for whenever the Spurs aren't playing. But the number one reason I started to watch them?

Whoa! Please don't eat me

That's right: they're nicknamed after friggin' velociraptors! How cool is that? Every day I wake up and google for two hours to try and find out who was the genius that came up with that name, to no avail - then again, maybe that someone also selected Isiah Thomas as GM, so it might not be that big a loss. How can you not love a team called Raptors? It gets instantaneous endorsement from the billions of Jurassic Park fanboys - like yours truly. Of course, they ended up wussing out and choosing a ridiculous Raptor basketball player caricature thingie for their logo instead of the perfectly good Jurassic Park very own logo, but hey - at least their secondary one is pretty cool.

And they would've gotten Spielberg for a fan, too

By the way, I'm aware that raptors as portrayed in the films aren't completely accurate: they were much smaller and were covered in feathers, like some sort of lizard Aztec god (Popovichcoatlus?), and that Spielberg actually modeled his walking horrors after a whole different dinosaur. But who cares? I certainly don't. Toronto's Raptors nickname is about 10 million times better than our "Spurs" (okay, only most of the time). They get it.

Bet it could still claw your stomach open, though

You know who doesn't get it? The Seat-oh, sorry, I meant the Oklahoma City Thunder. This is nothing new among OKC fans, but it still surprises me that having free reign to pick just about anything they went for the safe and incredibly boring "thunder". That's the best they could come up with? Really? Like many OKC fans, I was hoping they would at least go all the way and call themselves the OKC Thundercats! Now that's a plan I could get behind. Just think of Lion-o as the team mascot, just kicking ass on the sidelines with a his kickass Sword of Omens? Hell yeah!

That's some mad 'chop skills right there

Spurs vs. Raptors was actually a SEGABABA for the Raptors. The night before the NBA schedule maker had pitted the team with the best nickname ever against the newcomers with the worst one. OKC came into that game with the worst record in the NBA, having lost about 10 zillion games in a row (I might be exaggerating, but not by much), and shouldering a truckload of bad karma because of their move from Seattle to Oklahoma. I'm a firm believer in karma, mojo, et al, as you guys know, and SiMA will agree when I say that it takes some really, really lousy karma to lose to the Thunder. Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's where the Raptors are right now.

Raptor's only chance to turn this around

It's a tad painful for me, but this season has been a disaster so far. They've played listlessly, losing leads, being outrebounded by just about every team they've played, and simply playing bad basketball. I'm definitely not a basketball analyst, not even close, so instead of looking for rational explanations based on their roster, rotations, motivation, et cetera, I'll blame it all on their mojo. Be it by firing their once award-winning coach, having fans booing their players during a winnable game, or signing O'Neal, the Raptors have been racking up the bad karma. But most galling of all, to me at least, was the Spanish basketball team's "chink eye" photo:

Somos tan graciosos, jaja

Calderón should've known better. That's like prank-calling Lady Luck at 4 AM. And it's not the photo itself that bothers me, because I can (sort of, but not really) buy that there aren't enough Chinese people in Spain for them knowing how offensive that could be. It's not like they were the only offenders - even our very own Argentinian female football team did it. (And there's certainly a large Chinese community here. Also, they didn't even bring a medal... shame on you!)

That's the hottest picture I've posted in a month - so sad

What I found incredibly stupid is how they responded to the criticism - Calderon first and foremost among them. "I don't get it, I meant to do something nice, what's all the fuss about? You're making a big deal about nothing." How short-sighted do you have to be unable to grasp the situation when you see the reaction it caused? All they needed to do was to apologize. (Also, they lost to the US. Unforgivable.)

See how simple it is, José?

Now, if you force my hand and ask me about realistic reasons for their current slump, I think you should look no further than its star players. I don't really like O'Neal, but he is what he is. The biggest issue is his salary, not his ability to play. He certainly seemed active last night against the Spurs, grabbing important rebounds and simply killing us on the low post. Kapono, Humpries and Moon are okay, but they're role players. It's Bosh and Calderón that should lead the Raptors, and so far they haven't. Sometimes I wonder about the people that compare Bosh and Duncan. Don't get me wrong, Bosh is a terrific player, and would help any team that gets him - he's just not even close to Duncan in terms of leadership and reliability. I forget the number of times I've seen him play badly against one of the league's stars. Like against Bonner last night.

Don't take it so hard, Chris, I still like you

Calderón, too, is partly to blame. His lack of defense is glaring sometimes, and Tony Parker isn't the only opposing PG that seems to fastforward his way past a static Calderon to score a layup or dish out assists to open shooters. He can't miss free throws, which is a nice ability to have, takes care of the ball as well as anyone else in this league, and has proven to be clutch on occasions, but sometimes it seems like he lacks a certain explosiveness to carry the team. T. Jose Caldeford's excellent blog compares Calderón's assists to other star PGs' (that actually pass the ball, so Tony's not on the list) and the numbers seem to indicate that he's a more conservative passer than, say, Captain Canada. But you guys know I don't believe in stats anyway.

And cut that shit too

How can the Raptors improve? I haven't the foggiest idea. Their bench is weaker than the Spurs' BHM (Before Hill and Mason). Bargnani battles hard day and night to become the worst ever 1st overall pick in NBA history; Parker's a liability on both ends; Graham is inconsistent; Solomon forces Triano to try to keep Calderón on the court for 48 minutes... Despite being Argentine, I'm not a Delfino fan. I think he's an underachiever and the most inconsistent player in our national team. That said, it's amazing how much the Raptors miss him this season. Considering how cheap he was, and that he was a solid contributor off the bench in 07-08, I can't fathom why they let him go. TJ Ford is also sorely missed, but I can't fault them for that, because at the time I also wanted Calderón to regain his main banana status. If I were Triano, and fortunately I'm not, I'd try to fix the rebounding black hole first and foremost. Starting Moon should help, if he manages to keep him from taking ill-advised 3s like he did at one point in last night's game. Humphries is also an option, I think.

Whatever, Triano's the one being paid to juggle these losers and entertain us fans. I'll focus on slandering him online if he fails.

Yeah, Carlos, I'm surprised too, but they miss you

Now, for our beloved Spurs. Honestly, when I thought of writing this recap, I honestly didn't know what I was going to talk about. I'm one of those people that focuses on the highlights and lacks the necessary basketball savvy to simultaneously check defensive assignments, rotations, movement without the ball, and who made that awesome, shiny dunk. So instead I decided to approach this recap as I would a game thread: I'll just gush on and on about the players that had the most impact on last night's win.

Now Timmy and Manu had good games, but that's not news. Timmy has been his solid self throughout the season, and can't do no wrong in my eyes. He made his points efficiently, grabbed some rebounds, and blocked someone (yeah, yeah, I never claimed to be Rosen) twice in one play. O'Neal kind of had his way during the game, but whatever. Manu had a couple of nice assists, shot well from 3 for the second game in a row, and also grabbed as many rebounds as Duncan. He also got to the line once, which is worth noting since no one other than the Big Three and Tolliver got to the line. And Tolliver missed both FTs, so I'm sure he counts.

It's a time-honored tradition here at PTR to append "dog" to the name of the player that just scored in a flashy way, performed a particularly impressive pass or in general simply did something very positive for the team. And by "time-honored tradition" I mean that we've done it for the last 20 games or so - but let's not focus on the details. Instead, let's do a DOG ROLL CALL!


FINDOG

That dog's savvy could power up the world!

At one point this season I felt like I could learn to love this old fart. Sadly, that's easier said than done. Truth is, whenever his shot isn't falling he simply doesn't do enough good things to justify his presence on the court. In fact, it's in those nights that you learn to hate him, because he keeps Mason, Manu or Hill on the bench. Hell, he's even made me wish Bowen went in, if only to hope for that elusive corner three.

Last night, however, he was once more solid, and I feel (you guys can check if you want - I'm lazy) like he's had more good games that bad games this year. That's more than I can say for his previous seasons in black and white. He was 4-8 from 3, and helped the Spurs match their all-time record for 3-pointers made (16). If Tolliver and Udoka hadn't decided to suck (both 0-3 from 3) we could've shattered that record.

Now all we need to find out is whether taking 35 threes in a game is sound strategy.


BONNERDOG

You can see he's well-groomed

The Red Rocket was back in top form last night, shooting 4-7 from 3 and 5-8 overall. He only grabbed 3 rebounds, but they were all offensive and if I remember correctly (not Hollinger either) two of them ended in Mason threes after Bonner passed it to him. I'm always amazed that he actually makes shots with that ugly j of his, but if it works, who am I to complain? I actually wish Bonner would take more shots when he's playing at this level, instead of being shy like during the game at Orlando. That's one thing about Bonner this season that I like: he didn't stop shooting after the slow start and there seem to be no sequels to his disastrous night at New Orleans. So let's recap:

Bonner can:

• Dunk once
• Make 3-pointers (except vs. the Hornets)
• Grab rebounds
• Score on putbacks
• Play (during the current season)
• Put KG in the ground
• Romance a hot lady (and marry her)
  
• Crossover Madsen

Bonner can't:

• Dunk twice
• Grab a rebound while hanging from the rim
• Post up
• Drive to the basket
• Play (during past seasons)
• Dance

Reread this list before every game, Matt, and I'll continue to love you.


MASONDOG

So classy - but you can tell he didn't brush his teeth

Two good things about Mason tonight: he played 30 minutes and shot the ball 11 times. Roger has proved that he can be an effective offensive menace, but he won't be if he doesn't get enough playing time. Once again he was otstanding (that's for you, tomasito) from beyond the arc, making 4 out of 6, and 6-11 overall. If I cared about stats I'd point out that he was a team-best +12 for the night, and he also grabbed a few rebounds and had a couple of assists. All in all, another day at the office for our resident silent jedi assassin.


HILLDOG

That's got to be a trick of the camera...

Actually, there were no "Hilldog!"s last night. Why? Because he barely even played, and when he did, Manu was the point guard. I want to think that this was a one-time deal, because everyone else was so hot, but still, it's a bit of a travesty to see him play 9 minutes.

Whatever. I can at least link you to this cool article, and it's always great to see Hill's face. For those of you who don't appreciate him, just think of Solomon in a Spurs uniform.

...For that matter, just think of The JV.


TONYDOG

I think he's smiling, but don't quote me on that

Ho-kay. He's not one of the "dogs" in game threads, but I have to give the Frenchman his props. He played one helluva game, and was just two rebounds short of a triple double (24 points, 10 assists and 8 rebounds). He was also 11-19 for the night... so yeah, he had himself a game. Most of his assists came from penetrating and then kicking it out to our 3-point sharpshooters (you know, like Finley), and that's a move anyone who has watched the Spurs more than twice knows by heart.

r21x was saying the other day that we should want Tony to score, because he was a better passer when he scored. I think he's 100 per cent right: Tony scores when he penetrates, and his more effective passes from from beneath the hoop. They're not the most exciting passes, but that's the kind of player he is, and if he succeeds, the team succeeds. It's simple math.


POPDOG

Equal parts wisdom and hair

I don't think Pop did anything particularly amazing last night. Everyone that mattered was on, and beating these Raptors by 10 isn't good enough for a team that intends to compete for the championship. However, since I never write recaps I thought I'd use this one to show some appreciation for our coach. He's not perfect, but I wouldn't take any other coach over him - if only because he's such an asshole during interviews.

And this year The Beard has done things we thought were impossible for him: he's played the rookies, he's given time to guys like Bonner that have been permanent residents in his doghouse (got it? nyuk nyuk), he's stopped playing The JV now that a viable option exists, and during the last postseason he used just about every trick in the book to take the Spurs as far as they could go with no bench and an injured Manu.

Also, he Hacked-a-Shaq 5 seconds into the season. You win at life, Pop.



OUR 3 STARS:

3. Mason. When he's on, he's the one Spur I trust with a long jumper other than Manu and Tony. He could be the difference for us this year.
2. Bonner. He's cuddly and has a nice smile. When he plays like last night, I want to hug him forever.
1. Tony. That we keep complaining about this guy shows how spoiled we Spurs fans are.


NEXT: The Kings. We've got this shit.


Did you also feel like something was missing?

TheJVdog - DNP-CD. God's in Heaven

(Nerd alert)