No, not that Duncan, Arne Duncan.

So the whole point of this was to cruelly dupe you into reading this? Not exactly. Arne Duncan, according to Wikipedia, "  From 1987 to 1991, Duncan played professional basketball in Australia with the Eastside Spectres of the NBL , and while there worked with children who were wards of the state."

So, I started thinking...

Bruce Bowen: Department of Defense

Tim Duncan: Treasury Secretary ( Due to his banking expertise)

Tony Parker: Embassador to France or the UN ( The first because he's a Frenchie, the second because he might talk about the horrors of Darfur through the art form of rapping)

Michael Finely: Supreme Court Nominee ( Thus becoming the oldest of the current Supreme Court Justices)

Manu Ginobili: President of the World ( A position he created after first changing the constitution by traveling back in time and beating the founding fathers in a game of five-on-one, thus becoming President of the United States in a landslide in which he won every state, and then creating the Association of Countries Under the Rule of Manu, or ACURM)

Matt Bonner: Head of NASA

George Hill: Press Secretary ( Using his charms to pass Manu's agenda)

Roger Mason: Air Force General ( Involved in long range bombing projects)

Ime Udoka: Chief of Staff ( After beating Rahm Emanuel in a death match)

Fabricio Oberto: Chief Advisor ( Manu's right hand man)

Kurt Thomas: Secretary of State ( Using his stare to terrorize the heads of rogue states, and pretty much everyone person who dares look into the black holes he has for eyes)

Ian Mahinmi: Department of Health ( No one said you had to be qualified....)

Anthony Tolliver : Vice President ( With Manu's personality and leadership, this office is once again the most boring)

Jacque Vaughn: Veteran's Affairs Secretary