LA Clippers Recap : Misanthropy for fun and profit

      As usual, there are a couple of things I would like to address before getting into the recap. As is also usual when I have capping duties, the game is a yawner. That, or it would be one of Manu's all-time greatest performances, but my DVR would spazz out, and I wouldn't get to watch it anyway.

      Either way, I lose.

      Soooo... first things first, I want to stop a certain trend I noticed a while back. It's been gaining, and I want to try and halt it in it's tracks. I refer of course, to people calling Matt Bonner "Boner". This isn't clever people... it is utterly and completely tasteless. It's cheap toilet humor of the lowest kind. As you all probably know, Matthew Powell has been posting notices and trying to clean this site up a bit and make it more family friendly. I can utterly sympathize with this, and want only to pledge myself to upholding the lofty and strict standards he has set for us. Now, as we should all know, Bonner already HAS a nickname - a perfectly good nickname which has followed him across his NBA career, from team to team. It's Red Rocket. I want everybody to repeat after me: "I shall NOT refer to Bonner as 'Boner' ever again – he is, and always has been, and always shall be, 'Red Rocket'".

      I hope that settles that.

      Another item I was going to address is the evident decline of Bruce Bowen. But I believe I shall save that for my next recap. This game was, as I said above, a yawner, and while that allows me some room for filler, I think Bruce deserves his own column. His NBA swan song may still be a ways off, but perhaps it should be sung sooner, while he still bears an occasional resemblance to the player he once was, rather than later.

      Now, to be utterly fair, and also to pretend I care what everyone else thinks, this game was tied with under ten seconds to go, and that usually doesn't qualify as a "yawner". But unless you haven't been watching any games yet this year, ALL the Spurs games have been ending like this. While this may traditionally be a formula for heart-pounding excitement, the game never had that feel. No matter how close it got, it never seemed as if the guys in black were in any real danger.

      Whether it was Finley launching a piroutetting one-footed three-point airball to try and beat the shot clock, or Rickey Davis carelessly losing the ball-out-of-bound on what would normally be a "critical" possession, this game just never truly lost it's inevitable-as-clock-work feel. You just knew the Spurs would come out on top in the end.
      Of course it wasn't going to be a blowout, but this is Spurs vs. Clippers. And, yes, the Spurs may just be the most injury ravaged team in the league right now... but, and I repeat, these are The Clippers. The pro basketball version of the deep sea scumsucker.

LA Clippers: Somehow, an integral part of the delicate NBA ecosystem.

      So, yes, Roger Mason nailed the three to win with less than 10 seconds left. But, seriously, did anyone NOT expect us to win in the end? Did anyone who's been watching the Spurs for the past month really doubt? And more importantly, did anyone notice Ricky Davis getting hung out to dry by Marcus Camby's utter failure to rotate on defense? Did it make you smile? Did it not brighten some small hidden corner of your heart which has not seen illumination for too long?  To see someone like Davis get stood up on a game winner, in much the same manner that he has consistently failed to cover his teammates defensively, is to witness a small yet significant bit of that universal justice we call karma.  That moment of truth, not the final score, was the best part of the game for me.  May the heathen gods of the moving-screen forever keep Davis from the promised triple-double-land, as he wanders in the NBA hinterlands for the next 40 years... or for at least as long as Duncan still plays.  What's Timmy's record against the Clips now? Like 8769-1? I'd have to look it up, a task for which I am far too lazy.

 
Duncan vs. The Clippers. Uber-pwnage, dude.

      Here, I believe it's necessary that we take some time to recognize someone who has come back to earth. Yes, for a few shining moments... hours, really... we were able to pretend. We were able to pretend that he had transcended himself... that he, at an unlikely age, had somehow taken another step in his evolution; his evolution as a player, as an athlete, and, yes, as a man. For a brief yet glorious span, he was:

       Jacques Vaughn: Anklebreaker

      But, as fate ordains it, the Titanic must hit it's iceberg eventually. Vaughn shot 2-9 last night, and collected a single rebound. He did put up a respectable 5 assists, but his days imitating Tony Parker-style layups seem to have ended just as quickly as they began. Far thee well, Anklebreaker... we know we shall not see the light of you again, and ye shall be missed.

If it's any consolation, George Hill did shoot worse than you, Vaughn.

      While I'm on the topic of aging Spurs guards, I haven't been able to hate Finley lately. And god knows, I always try. The guy has been putting up his quota, and he's shooting at or near 50% for the past set of games. Defensively, he's been holding his own, and I didn't hate Pop for starting him tonight. Like Mason, he went 3-5 from downtown, and shot a respectable 7-15. I think he even dunked again, which made me worry about his knees. Somehow, I don't remember having these cartilage-related thoughts back when I was 16.

Like your very first airplane trip, it's not the takeoff so much as the landing that can get scary.

      Like many of you, I've been getting increasingly giddy with Roger Mason. His occasional off-game is compensated by his general efficiency and excellent three point shooting. He's more than making up for anything we may have lost from Brent Barry, and his athleticism makes him an automatic upgrade defensively. I'll take a couple more weeks/months to evaluate his defense long-term, but more than anything, he gives this team a potential for offensive balance which hasn't really existed since... well... ever.

Shooting Balance vs. the Clippers

• Mason 9-16
• Duncan 9-14
• Finley 7-15

      Once Manu and Tony get back, we're going to have 5 players who can be trusted with 15+ shots a game, and with the possible exception of Tony, none of those players really NEEDS shots in order to get going, as they can just get them in the flow of the game. In a game like yesterday, with 81 shots total, there would have been 30+ shots for Parker and Ginobili to split. Par back Finley to 10 shots a game, and you've got a good balanced offensive attack.

An ideal Spurs night in mid-February:

• Duncan – 12-15 shots
• Parker – 15-18 shots
• Manu – 12-15 shots
• Mason – 10-15 shots
• Finley – up to 10 shots
• Scrubs – 10-20 shots

      It might not exactly be roomy with surplus shots for all, but there's plenty for everybody if it's well portioned out, and there's even some scraps left for the scrubs. Mason has also demonstrated a decent, but not great, ability to create his own shot. Basically, he's good enough that other teams may no longer cheat off of him to give help defense against our usual big three. Take all that into consideration, and I'm starting to think this team might actually be ok at the end of the season. Our biggest problems last year were our offensive lapses, and Mason may just help us keep out of those ruts. Of course, it's easy to be optimistic after dispatching arguably the worst team in the league.

      I notice that I haven't said anything about the Clippers, specifically, I mean, I've insulted the franchise in general, and suggested that they are the basketball equivalent of the cursed Judean desert, but I haven't sniped at any of the players themselves.

If anyone has ever deserved the title of "Vanilla Gorilla", it was this man right here.

      Yeah... there isn't much to say. Baron Davis has consigned himself to labor in obscurity alongside a locker-room cancer like Ricky Davis, a scary white guy who looks like Captain Caveman, and the occasional respectable journeyman like Cuttino Mobley. Rumor has it that Baron has a picture of Elton Brand hidden in his locker, and he holds it and weeps silently for a few minutes before the press is allowed in.

• Third Star: Bruce Bowen – What... you don't think he deserves a star? He had a team high +/- of +12 in 24 minutes, and shot 3/6. Don't get mad at him just because YOU weren't paying attention.
• Second Star: Roger Mason, Jr. - An assassin's stroke. That, or just a good shot who finally is playing with a big man who actually knows how to suck in defenses. Either way, the guy knows how to use his opportunities and make them count. He'll be even more valuable once Manu and Tony get back.
• First Star: Timmy – 20 points on 9-14 shooting, 15 rebounds, and 6 blocks. I so wish this stat line wasn't necessary for us to beat the Clips.