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I, Like, Totally Have All the Answers

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Retire Robert Horry.  Whether that requires blackmail, bribery or simply shooting the man in the kneecap, make him go away.  The Spurs average 99.8 points per 100 possessions when he's on the court and 111.2 when he's off.  I don't care how many shots he blocks per game, it can't make up for the absolute zero he is on offense.

Speaking of zeros on offense, let's make a list of Spurs players the other team doesn't really have to guard when the Spurs have the ball:

Robert Horry
Jacque Vaughn
Bruce Bowen
Francisco Elson
Fabricio Oberto
Michael Finley

And don't even give me any shit for including Finley on that list.  His TS% is 49.7% which is below league average, below Bruce Bowen and below Ime Udoka.  Finley can still can the open 3 but he takes so many horrible fall away 2s that he more than negates his long-range capabilities.  I love how we start every game by running a play for him.  It's like starting sex with a bunch to the balls.  Unless you're into that sort of thing.  Then it's not like that.

Ime Udoka needs to play more.  First of all, he's got that cool arm birthmark scar thing going on.  That shit is tight.  Secondly, you get the feeling he would punch a fella if provoked.  Thirdly, he can actually grab a fucking rebound occasionally, more than can be said for Bowen and Finley.

(Look, I know Parker's been bad lately, but I'm not going to pile on because:

A)  He's hobbling, hobbled; he has a hobble.
B)  There's about 9 other Spurs who have sucked more than him.
C)  Half the crap he gets is mainly due to a reaction against the sizable portion of Spurs fans who foolishly think he's anything close to the player that Manu Ginobili is.  I'm not going to participate in that.

BUT, Tony, do yourself a favor and stop talking to the opposing players with a smile on your face when your team is losing and playing like ass.  That's awfully French of you, ok?)

Shoot Robert Horry in the other kneecap, just to be safe.

The next time Manu passes the ball when Kyle Korver is guarding him someone needs to punch Manu straight in the schnozz.  That's a buncha bullshit Manu.  And shoo away the pick and roll in that situation, mmmkay?  IT'S KYLE KORVER FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

Did you know that defensively the Spurs are only 0.2 points better per 100 possessions when Duncan is on the court?  Last year the difference was 6.5 points.  The year before that it was 2.0 point difference.  You slackin' out there Tim?  Just wonderin'.  Don't get me wrong, youz ain't the problem.  But I like to rag on you just to piss off the common folk.

And another thing that every Spurs fan just needs to admit.  We need to get this off our collective chest.  I don't say this lightly, and I'm gonna use a word I don't often use on this here blog.  Fabricio Oberto plays like a bitch.  I'm sorry Mom, He does.  That Houston game was embarrassing.  Grabbing folks and then falling down like they pushed you.  Grow a pair, Jesus.  Wait.  I'm not telling Jesus to grow a pair.  I doubt he has much use for a pair because, wait, I'm digressing and offending; digrending?  It's an expression, like "grow a pair, damn!"

Play Matt Bonner.  I mean, shit, this is pretty self-explanatory, right?  Matt Bonner does not suck ass.  Pop is currently playing a bunch of guys that suck ass.  I see an easy solution to this here predicament.

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Re: I, Like, Totally Have All the Answers
actually, matt bonner does suck *. if you could get him to never dribble the ball, to pass the ball within one second of every rebound he gets, and only shoot threes and free throws, he'd be almost there. then he needs to only apply pressure on defense, never actually try to steal the ball and foul needlessly. if he did those things, i'd want him to play 25/game.

by dmcnulla on Jan 29, 2008 12:11 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Re: I, Like, Totally Have All the Answers
Matthew, I'm very disappointed.  What's the question?  You may as well have just written "42" and saved everybody a bunch of time.

by Wayne Vore (ATS) on Jan 29, 2008 7:08 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Re: I, Like, Totally Have All the Answers
I agree about playing Bonner.  Pop needs to give him more minutes rather than bringing him in cold off the bench and expecting him to "save" the screw-offs  with only a few minutes left on the clock.

I disagree about Parker.  He is pathetic and should be benched or better yet, traded.

by Cissey on Jan 29, 2008 8:05 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Talent
Really player for player, the Spurs don't have a very talented squad to begin with. Granted talent alone doesn't win anything, but there isn't anyway the Spurs are more talented than a team like the Pistons or the Nuggets. Hell, those teams have at least 6 or 7 lottery picks each. I know the Pistons have 4 lottery picks in their starting lineup alone. So really what we are beginning to see is the margin for error rapidly decreasing and that happens with all championship teams at some point.
"I will slap you into a jelly!!!!"

by DennardC on Jan 29, 2008 2:01 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Re: I, Like, Totally Have All the Answers
at least JV and matt bonner hit open shots once in a while.

on elson - yes, sometimes it looks like he doesn't get it at all. however, the team started the season like a house of fire with him getting plenty of minutes. then, it all went to shit when he got injured and lost his spot in the rotation.  we are a more up tempo team with him in there and the ball seems to move more.  i want him back in there to see if it helps at all.

now that barry is gonna be out for a while, we need another bench guy that can pass, shoot and defend.  doesnt have to be stellar at any of those, but someone who doesnt induce and "oh shit" when he comes off the bench. we really need this whether we have a healthy barry or not. this would have been a good spot for one of our rookies from this years draft, but oh right...we wasted those picks in a draft full of guys that could do the very thing that we need right now.

by bones on Jan 30, 2008 8:13 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

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