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A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play

Stampler asked me to recap the Denver game because his "modem broke."  Apparently you can only download midget porn for so many consecutive hours before your modem just up and breaks isself.

So the play I want to focus on involves Jacque Vaughn.  You know the one I'm talking about.  He drove the lane, threw up a wild shot (that missed) and landed on his ass.  The ball ended up falling right to him and OMFG!!111!!! he caught it, passed it out and the Spurs eventually scored.  The crowd went giddy, Tim Duncan cracked a smile and dished out the head pat and Sean Elliott climaxed to a chorus of "heh heh heh heh heh."  And you know what I was thinking the whole time?

God, Jacque Vaughn sucks donkey balls.  Big, hairy, stinky donkey balls.  You don't even need stats to prove this.  Here's some proof:

"Jacque's not the most talented guy," Popovich said, "but he's kind of like Avery (Johnson). He's a heck of a leader and understands the offense. People trust him. He'll tell people what to do and where to go. He'll have suggestions on the court. He's just a real pro."

That roughly translates to "Jacque Vaughn basically sucks as a basketball player."  It's the God damn David Eckstein small-guy hero worship bullshit.  I mean really, "He'll have suggestions on the court????"  That's a positive attribute?  Why not "He didn't sweep Manu's leg in practice yesterday."

You want more proof?  He's always getting compared to Avery Johnson.  And you know why he's compared to Avery Johnson?  Because Avery Johnson fucking sucked, too.  He SUCKED.  He was barely an average defender who was actually a worse shooter than Jacque Vaughn.  But hey, he was short, talked funny, loved the Jesus and tried hard so let's ignore the fact that his most famous highlight is an 18-footer he made that, when you get right down to it, didn't make much difference.  The Spurs were already up in the game and leading the series 3-1.  The Knicks were done and everyone knew it.  It Sean Elliott hits that shot no one even remembers.  That's because Sean Elliott could actually shoot, didn't suck and hates the Jesus.

But sure, hey, let's retire Avery's number.  I'm all for it.  The fans loved him, he was here for more than 5 years and the Spurs can use any criteria they like for hanging a number from the rafters.  But can we not pretend he didn't suck?  Can we admit we cringed every time he shot the ball, including from the free throw line?  Can we acknowledge Jacque Vaughn's "good" performance against PHX was actually just him making some ridiculously wide open 18-footers that were available because he's a horrible fucking shooter?  He's a fucking weak link.  A sickness.  A plague.  Off with his fucking head, I say.

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Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
What the fuck is going on with the gang tonight? Good grief...
"I will slap you into a jelly!!!!"

by DennardC on Dec 19, 2007 7:32 PM CST reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
i don't mind players not being good at everything as long as they know what they are good at and not good at, and as long as they try to do the things they are good at.

when matt bonner is shooting open threes, i like that. when he tries to back down a defender and follow with a turn around fade away, i figure he and bruce have a bet on who scores first from posting somebody up. it's not your game! stick to what you do well.

by dmcnulla on Dec 20, 2007 12:30 AM CST reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
the Matthew,

Did you have a bad day before doing this write-up? Avery Johnson was a player who wasn't even drafted, yet through hard work and determination he became the floor general of some really good Spurs teams and an eventual NBA champion. Sure, he didn't have a great jumper, but he was a true point guard and knew how to lead a team well. Avery and Sean were great complements to the Twin Towers. AJ's key jumper in game 5 of the 1999 NBA finals actually put the Spurs up by a single point with only 47 seconds left - that is why it is remembered as the game-winning shot. I think it's fantastic that someone with AJ's player history drains the game-winner in the series-clinching game of the Finals - what a great story!

Do you have any evidence that Sean Elliott hates "the Jesus"? David Robinson also loves Jesus. You've got a problem with Jesus, or what?

Maybe we can at least agree that Jacque Vaughn is an improvement over Nick Van Exel.

by 4Him on Dec 20, 2007 12:49 AM CST reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
I don't love the Jesus, I love the Flying Spaghetti Monster, it's time to put the FSM back in Crifsmas!

by Hipuks on Dec 20, 2007 1:04 AM CST up reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
Yes, I was having a bad day.

I don't care if Avery Johnson was or was not drafted.  I don't care how hard he worked.  In terms of basketball I only care about how he good he was.

And after doing some quick research it seems that you're right and I was wrong, Avery's jumper did give us the lead.  But do you think I am going to let the facts get in my way of my argument?  =).

I have no evidence regarding Elliott's feelings about Christ.  That part was a joke.  I, personally, have no problems with Jesus.  He was a great man.

And yes, yes, yes, Jacque Vaughn is way better than Nick Van Exel was for the Spurs.

by sungo on Dec 20, 2007 4:52 PM CST up reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
Hey the Matthew,

Perhaps you have a better suggestion for who we could get as back-up pg. Maybe Sacramento will trade us Beno for Jacque? Or maybe we could talk Nick the not-so-quick into coming out of retirement. Or maybe the Nets will trade us Jason Kidd for the the rights to scola, brent barry, and Beno (oh wait . . . shit). Anyway, I'm listening.

by pollackj on Dec 20, 2007 1:43 AM CST reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
AJ's jumper didn't put the Spurs ahead?  What game were you watching LMAO

And Stamplers "modem broke" sounds like a euphemism for "Manu is sucking so I'll hide out for a while". I don't want to call him a bandwagoner but it seems like whenever Manu does good he's here with a 5000 word entry. If Manu does bad he disappears, has someone else write or "breaks his modem".  Come on now seriously lets just be honest LOL

by mikewells on Dec 20, 2007 5:17 AM CST reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
who the fuck are these people (perhaps some  nice guys and readers)....?

anyway, i love reading you.

ps (i stopped commenting on this here blog (as you might say), after the discussion about charging for this site (you probably have no idea what im talking about). i still dont know how to explain it, but anything this site is worth to me, would be lost by it not being free, and not because i am that cheap, and not because you dont deserve to earn money of your writing. but i think it would greatly influence how and what you write, and in a way that would not appeal to me, i dont think)

massive boisson aka chicken

by massive boisson on Dec 20, 2007 7:03 AM CST reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
time to let it go on jacque vaughn.  he plays hard, found his jumper this year and always knows what to do with the ball when he has it.  he makes good passes and generally good decisions.

he's not the talent of tony parker for sure, but he's a solid back-up.  all i really ask of a guy is that he plays hard.  JV does that in spades.

would i rather have someone else? sure, but its not like he's out there coughing up the ball every time down or getting smoked on defense.

he is what he is.  a back-up PG - and he's having a better year than most of his professional seasons....and yes, i do know that aint saying much.  but he is SO not one the spurs problems to worry about.

and for what its worth, i'd love to see some +/- number on AJ.  he was less talented than JV, and most other players really, but dude knew what he was doing.  he meant so much to the spurs team while he was here that i wont ever say anything bad about him. he has a lifetime pass from me unless he goes mark cuban on the spurs via the media.

by bones on Dec 20, 2007 8:02 AM CST reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
Have some of you heard of satire? I mean stop taking everything that is written so critical! Avery sucked as basketball player so what...he was un drafted who cares? Because he was on the Spurs I'm suppose to wow good for him!!!!

This is Matt's site and if he wants to write that Avery sucked then be it!

So "MikeWells" Aaron is afraid to write because Manu has been playing badly? Nice way of calling someone out! Aaron has been writing for over 2 years or probably longer...so he decides not to write 2 recaps because he is hiding out. YOu are a moron!

He wrote the Lakers recap? what is your answer to that.

Maybe you should appreciate all the time and effort he puts in his writing instead of criticizing   the guy!

by adam8065 on Dec 20, 2007 10:16 AM CST reply actions  

Relax, Adam...
Did anyone say that Matthew couldn't write what he did? He shared his opinion, and others weighed in with theirs [even if in disagreement]. But resorting to a personal attack is not going to help your argument...

by 4Him on Dec 20, 2007 11:51 AM CST up reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
Key..the attack was towards Mikewells not anyone else because he called out Aaron.

I apologize if I've offended anyone else that was not my intention.

by adam8065 on Dec 20, 2007 1:13 PM CST reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
whoa adam8065 clam down I was just pullin' his chain. i didn't realize we all have to constantly lick rawhide here like you do =)

by mikewells on Dec 20, 2007 4:12 PM CST reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
I enjoy licking rawhide as much as you do my friend!

by adam8065 on Dec 20, 2007 7:40 PM CST reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
My goodness, the Spurs lose 4 of 5 and the sniping begins. Everyone take a deep breath and step away from the cutting words.  O.K.  Now it's time for a little bit of perspective.  

  •  It's December not April... chill out.
  •  News flash... We're not not going to have the best record in the    league.... We belong to the strongest division in the league,  remember?
  •  Everyone, and I mean everyone in the NBA is going to give us  their A game all season long.
  •  Unfortunately we sometimes play down to our opponents level...  this is something we do on occasion.

Regarding Avery, I was never a huge fan, but I do have a grudging admiration for him... and you absolutely have to give him credit for being a true leader on the floor.  Avery the coach is another matter... I for one will not forget the "Bear Claw" defense comment anytime soon. He should have learned a bit more from Pop... like giving the opponent the respect they deserve when they beat your team fair & square - instead of being a whiny-ass bitch like your owner.  

On Jacque Vaughn... if it's true that a player needs a full year to learn and feel comfortable playing the Spurs system then he's doing an O.K. job this season.  However, like most everyone on this blog, I still think Beno should have had the back-up spot.  Oh, well... our loss.

Lastly, whomever took Manu's blood fortifier as a souvenier from his locker, please give it back.

I am happy.  I am proud. - Manu Ginobili
 

by bellasa on Dec 20, 2007 7:40 PM CST reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
I hated AJ because he stole #6 from my favorite Spurs player Walter Berry.  And now that #6 will be up there in the rafters laughing at me...

by Jones on Dec 21, 2007 12:30 AM CST reply actions  

Re: WB
lol at the thought of the "laughing jersey". But wouldn't it be fun if the Spurs had Walter Berry right now [WB in his prime, that is].

by 4Him on Dec 21, 2007 6:32 AM CST up reply actions  

Re: WB
Yes it would be awesome.  We'd have our second low post scorer.  Someone who makes around 58% of their shots.  A solid rebounder. And his defense would be so terrible that Finley and Elson would be scolding him for missing rotations.  But he would be a talent that Pop couldn't deny playing.  So to release his built-up rage Pop would lash out at the softest player on the team.  But he would pay for his therapist to make things right in the end.  

by Jones on Dec 22, 2007 9:59 AM CST up reply actions  

Re: A Game Recap That Focuses On A Single Play
jock von isn't my favorite player. he's not even my favorite backup point guard. but he gets the to the front court without turnovers, and hits more shots than nick the-not-quick did for us. i still wish that the spurs had made better use of beno (and that he had made better use of his opportunity with the spurs), but that's crying over spilled milk.

as for avery, he had one (short) season that he got the little jumper working and he used it to help the spurs get the first championship. it is what it is.

by dmcnulla on Dec 21, 2007 7:34 PM CST reply actions  

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