Game Thread # 1 -- vs. Portland

Let's just cram everything into this game preview, shall we?

First of all, I made an important decision this past weekend: the Spurs are going to win their fifth NBA title this season. Why?

  1. They have the most effective NBA player since Michael Jordan.
  2. They have the best defensive player in the NBA.
  3. They also have Bruce Bowen.
  4. Everyone on the Spurs plays defense.
  5. Popovich is above average.
  6. The Sickness can still do some things.
  7. They care more about excelling than any other team.
  8. Parker's good and willing to carry the load during the season.
  9. No bullshit.
  10. Ray Allen is a nancy-boy.
  11. Bu-den-hol-zer.
You can maybe argue about the first one. If you disagree with the second you're just dumb and the rest of the list is stating the obvious.

Of course we'll hear all year that the Spurs have never repeated. This is true. This is also entirely, unequivocally and absolutely irrelevant. Especially for the Spurs. Think about it; the basic tenet behind the whole "the second one is much harder" is "you can't sneak up on people." Um. The Spurs have been one of the favorites every year since 1999. They couldn't sneak up on Helen Keller at this point. And she's dead.

The Spurs, being the cerebral, wine-tasting, man-purse carrying gingers that they are, take much umbrage to this line of "thinking." The Spurs' repeat will be just as much a comment on today's rampant wannabe bourgeois prattling as it will be a statement of their basketball prowess. Well, not really. But that was fun to type.

So the Spurs are now sans Beno. Benoless. Slovenian-free. Deudrihed. I presume Brent Barry will assume Beno's primary duties of keeping Pop's doghouse occupied. By the way, the TWolves promptly waived our Myspace hero. Which confuses me, because I thought his contract was guaranteed. I know the Wolves got cash considerations from the Spurs, but that had to equal less than his contract, right? There's obviously something I'm missing here.

Darius Washington will assume back up PG duties for the time being. This has me extremely excited. Titillated, even. Not because I've seen the kid play, mind you. Rather because he's 21 and not Jacque Vaughn. Awesome.

Umm, the Spurs are playing, lemme see, Portland on Tuesday to open the NBA season. I think they're getting their rings and stuff. Should I know this? Of course. Sorry. I hope you don't come here for news. So the Trailblazers drafted that tall feller Oden, but he's hurt and out for the year. I know Roy was hurt during the preseason but maybe he's healthy. And Aldridge plays for them. And Jarrett Jack and some Latinish point guard, and Joel P'z'lla and Outlaw and some other tall dudes.

It's a new season which means a new contest! It's different this time around. You folks, via the comments, will predict the final score of the Spurs game. Who ever picks the correct winner and has the closest score gets 1 point. If you get the score exactly right you get 5 points. Points double in the playoffs. Whoever has the most points at the end of the season wins a fabulous prize with monetary value and a 10 minute make out session with stampler. Total prize package of -5 bazillion dollars. See, that's funny because I'm implying kissing stampler is worth less than -5 bazillion dollars.

Let's have a good season, shall we? Post away, friends, post away.

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